The Cornell Review has given out numerous ‘assclown’ awards in the past. Although this is typically a print-only feature, I’d like to commemorate our first online assclown award to Sir Paul McCartney. The Obamas last night enjoyed another lavish evening of high-class entertainment provided by guest McCartney.
This assclown – appropriately – did plenty of brown-nosing, saying how nice it was to finally have a president who knows what a library is, and even singing a special Beatles song for the first lady, “Michelle.” Here is my suggestion of other Beatles songs that would have been appropriate (some are ‘updated’ versions – can you differentiate the two?!).
Back in the USSR
The Continuing Story of Bungalow Barry
While My Treasury Gently Weeps
Ob-La-Di, Ob-Am-A, OMG!!
Sgt. Blagoyevich’s Lonely Hearts Club Trial
(Not) Fixing A Hole
You Like Me Too Much
Sgt. Blagoyevich’s Lonely Hearts Club Trial (Appeal)
Eleanor Rigby (Now Has State-Sponsored Health Insurance)
Come Together (And Give Proportionally to the Commonwealth)
With A Little Help From My Friends, We Could Probably Find You A Position, Mr. Sestak!
I’m Happy Just To Dance Around The Subject
Yellow, Somewhat Oily Submarine
You’re Going To Lose That Job
Hey Judge (Do You Like Chicks, or What?)
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Teleprompter
Flotilla Skelter
Geithner In The Sky With Tax Problems
As painful as it is to see my favorite musician ennobled Assclown, this is hilarious.