Those dastardly capitalists are at it again.
In late June, Cornell’s Department of Biomedical Engineering received a $50 million gift from the Meinig family, prominent benefactors of the University. Peter Meinig ’61, a former chairman of Cornell’s Board of Trustees, is a business executive with a broad range of positions and titles, perhaps most notably acting as CEO of HM International, a holding company with a diverse portfolio of manufacturing, energy, and consumer goods businesses.
This damaging blow is reminiscent of last year’s capitalist onslaught in the form of a $50 million check from billionaire hedge fund manager David Einhorn ’91 and Fortune 500 company Verizon’s crippling $50 million gift to Cornell’s NYC Tech Campus. Somehow Cornell managed to survive, but surely another multi-million dollar donation might just be the last straw.
As the overwhelming majority of Cornell students and faculty would lead you to believe, each zero added to the sum of money in a donation to Cornell from a capitalist or a business is a fiery salvo aimed directly at the Ivory Tower of Academia.
But, fear not and quell your trembling, comrades: the Red blood of the Revolutionary vanguards remains untainted. As a shining example, do not forget that at the May Day protest last spring, when a group of protesters occupied a street intersection on campus for several hours and then stormed into President David Skorton’s farewell party, a grad student said they were there to “obstruct capital flows across campus.”
Curiously enough, those who swear their zealous opposition to capitalism with left hand on the Communist Manifesto are silent whenever a major donation such as the Meinig’s is announced. If they do speak out, it is almost always to criticize the purpose of the donation: Why donate to the biomedical engineering department and not to art history or gender studies?
We may never know the answer to such a question, but let us list the reasons why capitalism should be celebrated, not denigrated, on campus:
– Modern buildings
– Air conditioning and heating
– Electricity and lighting
– Clothes
– Paved roads
– Internet access and wifi
– Cars and buses
– Computers
– Kitchen appliances
– Washing machines and dryers
– Abundant food
– Books
– Cellphones and smartphones
– Medicine
– Fitness centers
– Movies
– Concerts
– Running water
– Personal hygiene products
– Furniture
– Beds
– Employment
Get it?
