Last week I predicted that Cornell’s LGBT community wouldn’t miss the opportunity to get involved with a movement called ‘It Gets Better,’ an anti-gay-bullying video series and online support group. Sure enough, the lead story of today’s Daily Sun reported that a video by Cornellians will be posted shortly. Accompanied by an email this evening, Cornell’s LGBT groups are submitting the video and encouraging students to protest ‘gay bullying’ by wearing purple this Wednesday. Via an email:
On October 20th, 2010, let’s wear purple in honor of the 14 young men and women who committed suicide in recent weeks and months due to bullying. Some of these young ones were of the LGBTQ community and some were bullied just for being different.
The author of this email may be overstepping their deductive bounds a bit when they conclude the suicides were “due to bullying.” Regardless, Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of developmental psychology and director of Cornell University’s Sex and Gender Lab, recently said in a statement that labeling gay suicide rates as an epidemic is scientifically false. More importantly, it is a dangerous way of thinking that sends the wrong message.
Savin-Williams said, “It is important to point out in these moments of grief that there is absolutely no scientific evidence of an ‘epidemic of gay youth suicide,’ or even that gay youth kill themselves more frequently than do straight youth.
…
“Thus, to assert that there is an epidemic of gay youth suicide is not only speculative but also irresponsible because of the message it delivers to gay youth: ‘be prepared to kill yourself.’ Indeed, most gay youth love their life and wouldn’t change their sexuality even if they had a magic pill to do so. Is this not the better message to deliver?”
The type of misinformation Savin-Williams talks about is precisely what I mentioned in the last post. Anyone of sound mind will agree that bullying and prejudiced behavior against any group of people is terrible, but misrepresenting an issue can have greater, more longer-lasting consequences.
So what is the “normal” amount of 13 year-olds that hang themselves from trees, Oliver? Enlighten me. I think we need to be less concerned about media awareness of gay suicides and more concerned about why American society has been allowed to continue to inflict their hatred, bigotry, and conservative ideals on this minority group of people for so long. Wake up.
The issue was not misrepresented. Sensationalized maybe by using words such as epidemic but for so many suicides to occur while there was some type of prejudice going on in the background attention should be raised. I’m not saying that talking about it as an epidemic is the correct way to do so but having a rally or wearing purple, or having fellow people who went through the same struggles and became better people in the end make a video doesn’t seem like a terrible thing to do. You made the claim that bringing too much attention to a subject shrouds of other problems but the solution to that is not to stop the positive work of one type of attention. All that means is that the world in addition to bring attention to one subject, needs to do so for the others.
Normal means average right? There is a proportion of teenagers who kill themselves. A few per day.
Heartbreaking and tragic? Yes. But it does happen. And no, it’s not a gay issue. It’s a general mental health issue.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_suicide_in_the_United_States)
We need comprehensive mental health care.
Yes, mental health care. Give no credence to what is going on with homosexuality in this country. It gets very tiring that anytime the difficulties and repression associated with homosexuality is in the spotlight, the general population always gives the “well it doesn’t just pertain to gays, it pertains to everyone” answer. If they gave us that same equality-based treatment with everything else, we wouldn’t have these issues to begin with. Make us all-inclusive when you want to prove we are just like everyone else, but keep us separate when you want to prove we shouldn’t have the same liberties as you. Unreal.
Greg, it seems like the story in your head does not reflect the facts of the world. You say “the general population always gives the ‘well it doesn’t just pertain to gays, it pertains to everyone’ answer.” If you read the post, you would see there is no gay suicide epidemic. That is a fact. I think Oliver’s basic question is this: Since suicide seems to be equally problematic for straights and gays, why are we talking about “gay teen suicide” rather than just “teen suicide?”
Of course there are issues and problems more pertinent to gays, but this is not one of them. When you falsely characterize all problems as “gay problems,” then you lose credibility. It’s kind of like why no one takes Al Sharpton seriously. So if the “gay movement” wants to be actually be helpful, it should stay away from the hyperbole.
JD,
I am guessing that you disagree with the findings that gay kids are 4x more likely than straight kids to commit suicide?
Here is the breakdown, or as you refer to it, “the story in my head,” which is the root of this issue:
Getting made fun of because you are overweight, or short, or black, or white, or whatever makes you “different”…this is difficult for any child. (Note: gay people are also overweight, short, black, white, etc., so this bullying applies here too). However, ADD TO THAT the shame you are MADE TO FEEL for being gay…shame that is CONSISTENTLY underscored by the conservative moment in this country and passed from its leaders, to the communities, to the parents, to the children. Conservative groups send the messages loud and clear, from fighting to overturn equality-based legislation to campaigning AGAINST tolerance in our schools. Then ADD TO THAT things like the fear of being rejected by your family, or what’s worse, actually being rejected; Being abandoned by your peers and/or subjected to even MORE harassment; The inability to seek comfort in your own faith because its leaders (NOT GOD) have condemned you and are insisting that you are CHOOSING to be gay, and “being” gay is damnable, so therefore warning that you must sacrifice partnership and any hopes for a family of your own. This is what differentiates this group from the masses.
So let’s add this up: Let’s take an “awkward” 13 year-old who is a different ethnicity than the majority of other students in his school…maybe has glasses, or braces, is a little shorter than average, doesn’t wear the designer clothes that the other kids wear, is a different religion than most, is quiet, and is a good student. Odds are this child will most likely be picked on. That in and of itself is painful. Oh but wait…I forgot: He’s gay. So add to the mix: Increased loss of self-worth, instillation of self-hatred and shame, fear of possible–and too often actual–familial rejection, worries of possible social repercussions, additional harassment, bullying, isolation, homelessness (yes–that does happen), personal safety/security, religious abandonment, and warnings about any kind of “morally acceptable” future involving dating and companionship. Don’t think kids/teenagers think about all this? Think again. How is anyone, much less a child, supposed to handle all of that?
This is the root of this issue, and editorials like these and responses like yours continue to negate, again, the validity that this is in fact an issue. Facts are provided, and people negate them. Studies are performed, and people refute them. People are going to believe what they want to believe, so do just that. Continue to squabble over numbers and percentages without looking at the core of what is going on here. Suicide is an issue for teens? Yes. Teenage Years + Teenage Problems = Susceptibility for Suicide. However, Teenage Years + Teenage Problems + Being Gay = Even Greater Susceptibility for Suicide. Simple Math.
And if this in fact not “abnormal,” and these numbers represent what has been going on all along, then we have failed even more as a society in both 1) not recognizing this oppression and its effects on these people and 2) continuing to allow it to happen. This is criminal.
P.S. Most gay youth love their life? Where are the non-conservative-based study results from that poll? Amazing.
And I guess this study means nothing then too? Reference page 45.
http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/study.pdf
Greg, sorry for the late response.
It sounds like you want the suicide rate to be higher for gays. The professor referenced in the post, whose statement I am admittedly taking at face value, says that the suicide rate is in fact NOT higher for gays. If true, shouldn’t that be a good thing? Instead you’re arguing that no, it must somehow be higher. Because what self-respecting gay isn’t self-loathing?
You list these “symptoms” of gay-ness:
Wow, being gay sounds like a horrible, horrible thing. But I will tell you that I happen to be gay, and I wouldn’t change that if I could. Also, I haven’t yet jumped off a bridge, although apparently I’m expected to.
Well, JD, good for you. And thank God your road to self-acceptance coupled with your exemplary education hasn’t desensitized you to the pain and suffering that other gay peons may experience in their own personal journeys. But I guess this is again the “story in my head,” not substantiated by any studies attached above, nor by anyone else’s personal experiences. See, as you so astutely pointed out, this is merely something that I WANT to be true, and I guess YOUR experiences trump all else, and that all other gay youths MUST not struggle–solely because you haven’t. Outstanding. Stellar example of empathy and understanding.
Taking things for face value is the very reason why ignorance still exists in this country.
P.S. We are on the same team here. Wake up.
Final commentary here:
Take this sentence: “The ignorance, bigotry, and prejudice in this country as pertaining to homosexuality are legalized means of conservative-based oppression that are the root causes for bullying and suicide among our youth.”
To eliminate the ridiculousness of political positioning and pissing contests over statistics and percentages, change to:
“The ignorance, bigotry, and prejudice in this country as pertaining to homosexuality are legalized means of conservative-based oppression that are the root causes of either loss of one’s quality of life, or loss of life itself, among both LGBT youth and adults.”
Bullying and suicide are the symptoms. Homophobia–the lack of EDUCATION and UNDERSTANDING about homosexuality–is the illness. This is the real problem here. This is what needs to be addressed. And, disgustingly, this is the one topic that no one is tackling. As always, the media missess, ears deafen, heads turn the other way, and the root cause of senseless tragedies becomes lost along the way. So let’s keep posting editorials like this, ignoring any chances of recognizing a cancer and working toward a cure, and watching as we continue to lose more lives.
Honestly Greg, you make yourself sound like an idiot.
1. You know NOTHING of my “road to self-acceptance.” Zero. So please don’t comment on it. Did I say I haven’t struggled? No. In fact, I did for quite a long, long time. If I had not yet come to terms with my sexuality, would reading your post make me feel better? No. Because you are convinced that gay people have a suicide issue. Also, I am actually quite sensitive to how difficult it can be to come out for people. OF COURSE it is tough, and can be much harder for some people than others. But you also become a better and stronger person for having to do it.
2. ALL I SAID IS THAT FACTS, ACCORDING TO A CORNELL PROFESSOR WHOM I HAVE NO REASON TO BELIEVE IS BIASED, SHOW THAT THE SUICIDE RATE IS NO DIFFERENT FOR GAYS VERSUS STRAIGHTS. You have yet to address this point. This is not a moral statement. I want suicides to be as rare as possible, for everyone, period. If they are lower for one group, all that means is that they’re higher for the other group.
3. I agree that homophobia and all its byproducts are destructive and harmful, to gays and non-gays alike.
And lastly, all of my conservative friends have been understanding and/or curious when I’ve told them that I’m gay. They are fine with me being me, and have appreciated the honesty.
Honestly, JD, I am not devoting anymore time to arguing with self-riteous arrogant people who admittedly take things for face value and ignore facts and responses already presented. Reference the study from the SPRC that I (“Tired”) posted above. Then tell me I said nothing to address the issue. Then reread my final commentary, where I pointed out the actual issue itself, which you ignored. Again. The professor who touted this oh-so-helpful piece of information and students like yourself who are ignorant to the perils that exist out there are the very reason why prejudice and bigotry continue to thrive out there. Reading my post wouldn’t make you feel better if you were a struggling youth? Well honestly, this part of the equation is not a segment of the “It Gets Better” campaign. This is directed to the adults. To the religious leaders. To our government. To people who continue to not “get it.” Because this is HOW we need to MAKE it better. Things don’t get better on their own. Take the time to become informed. See beyond yourself. I’m so happy that ALL of your conservative friends welcomed you with open arms. And again, what a utopia it must be on planet JDFarragut. I’d like to visit sometime.
Also…the damage done–if any–by publishing information about the numbers of “gay suicides” is far less than the damage done by publishing commentaries like the one by your professor. Since his well-thought an fully researched excerpt hit the wire, anti-gay mediums have latched on to it an are spreading it like wildfire throughout the Internet, making the focus–again–offset, and what’s worse, helping to sweep the issue back under the rug. And when commentaries like his have this effect, it is criminal. It is the same logic used to support the very bigotry at the root of this issue. “No one can prove the roots of sexuality because there is not enough evidence, and although the experts, studies, and research all underscore that it is uncontrollable and uncgabgeable, we are still going to say that it’s a choice an can be changed” is the exact same mentality of “No one can prove the exact numbers of actual gay suicidal deaths, and although the experts, studies, and research all underscore that it is higher among LGBT youths, we are still going to say that it’s not.” This is the perpetuance of ignorance which equates to continued prejudice which equates to lack of equality. And this, my student friends and professors, is the core of the mental issues referenced above that are the root of suicide. Read the study. Learn something. Connect the dots. Help be a part of the solution here instead of the problem.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/02/110202114957.htm
Greg… what you said about gays being 4x as likely to commit suicide, I would have to agree with you on that. I sould know from expirience with this… I knew a few people who have tried, and succeded in commiting suicide because of the fact they were gay and were made fun of… and it’s NOT RIGHT!!!!!! And JD, I’m glad you have come to terms with yourself and your sexual identity but some of us aren’t that fortunate yet. Take me for example… I’m still trying to figure out MYSELF. so… yeah. Just saying. Greg… you’re a good guy for speaking out.