For years the University of Chicago has been called “Where fun goes to die,” but now the school with elite education and absolutely no student life seems to be spicing things up. The students of the University present to us: UChicagoHookups.com! I was unable to find any information about the sexual activity rate at UChicago, but the creation, and immediate popularity, of this website would seemingly imply that its not a very high number.
Most of the posters, as one might expect, on this site are disillusioned guys, rife with hormones pent up by too many books on John Maynard Keynes’s fairytale General Theory. For your entertainment I have put down below some of the adverts from the first few pages of personals, but I would encourage anyone on a study break to check this site out for their own amusement. NOTE: the explicit language of these entries has forced me to edit some of them (where you see brackets […. ]); also, the hyper-links are all from the original website, and not the Insider. After the jump:
F&*# Me; I’m a Marxist
Category: men4women
Date: Thursday, March 10th, 2011 09:57 AMUnder Capital, our relations are mediated through alien forces. We are alienated from one another, unable to realize our species being. Life as an egoistic man has got me feeling prettylonely.
Thus, if you’d like to emancipate yourself for a bit, by which I mean perhaps thirty-forty minutes, and then delight in a bit of casual Marxist conversation as we redress, that’d be fine.
Lie Tangent To These Curves
Category: women4men
Date: Friday, March 11th, 2011 04:45 PMLooking for a little something to grab onto?
What I have: a pair of double [fourth letter of the alphabet]s, an [Democrat Party logo] Queen would sing about, hips that don’t lie, no desire for an emotional attachment, and plenty of interest in experimenting.
What you have: A [male chicken], enthusiasm, and some unexplored fantasies.
All colors, creeds, heights and sizes welcome. Tall preferred (I’m 5’7″) but not necessary. Awesome [special cuddling] knows no boundaries.
Exhibitionism?
Category: men4women
Date: Tuesday, March 15th, 2011 12:46 AMI want to have [adulterous relations]outside. I know the place, it’s got a great view, and so far as I know, no one else goes there. Still, it is technically a public space, so we could technically get in a ton of trouble.
I should add that I’m a scholarship boy. Government loans, PellGrant, University aid, third-party scholarships, I’ve got ’em all. So when I say/write that I want to have [adulterous relations] somewhere semi-public, what I’m talking about is the chance of losing ten grand worth of free education money if we get caught.
If that turns you on, let’s meet up and do it. I’m done with finals on Thursday. I’ll be discreet to the point of muteness; we don’t have to do names, either.
Me: white, blond, 5’11, skinny but not too skinny. I think I’m good looking but hey, I’m biased. I’ll send a pic if you’re curious.
You: female, decently attractive (I’m not incredibly picky, but this is a booty call), adventurous (obviously), not afraid of heights…
^^^This guy’s an idiot^^^
A Columbia student recently suggested that relations aren’t too friendly in New York, either. At Harvard, 52% of seniors have had no sexual relations of any kind. Information or allusions to the topic at Cornell are sparse, but we still have every other Thursday in the Stun to keep our libidos running.
